“Goodbyes Suck” – Aaron Trofholz
Aaron highly anticipates any time our family gets together and the holidays are no exception. He looks forward to these events with such passion. The monthly countdown quickly turns into weeks, days, and the final minutes until each family member pulls into the driveway.
Then something happens, he realizes we will inevitably be leaving to return to our homes. He becomes quiet and slightly withdrawn. When you ask to sit with him, his eyes well up with tears and he says very matter of factly, “Goodbyes Suck”.
He has this unique ability to be present for the good times and present for the hard times. He acknowledges the stuff he finds challenging and he owns it.
As Christmas Day started to pass, he became quieter and quieter. He remained fixated on what time we were leaving, why we were leaving, and when he will see us next.
A delicious Christmas dinner came to a close and Aaron excused himself immediately. He needed to report to his duty of monitoring the door for our departure. As I loaded my arms with bags my eyes welled up in sync with his welled up eyes. It hit me like a ton of bricks… rather than hide my tears in embarrassment, I would allow my vulnerability to be seen. That I too can be present for the good times and be present for the hard times, much like Aaron. Had I not witnessed his ability to show up in his truth, I may not have been able to do the same.
Yes Aaron, goodbyes suck. In the suck, you have shown me how to be grateful for a love that few words can articulate. The love of family. You have shown me that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to show our wholehearted vulnerability. Love shows up for us in various forms, even the hard moments can be rooted in deep love.
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