Smile

Social media can be a powerful tool. Social media can serve as a platform to share your life with the hopes of inspiring others. I was able to connect with this week’s writer, Kayla, after being touched and inspired by her posts. I selected the genius “message” tab and asked Kayla if she’d be willing to share about her son on the blog. She graciously said yes. The privilege of connecting with those who have or love someone with extra abilities continues to humble me to my core. Further proof that Through connection we can overcome the label of disability and unleash our true abilities.

Meet Jagger:

Jagger is a uniquely wonderful human being to whom I have the honor of calling my son. His ability to make you smile even when you’re having a bad day is something very special and how even though hitting milestones doesn’t come easy, he doesn’t stop trying to figure out how to do things.

He has taught our family the ability to smile even when times get tough, that there is so much beauty in the unexpected. And to be patient, things will come with time and effort.

If there is one thing people could learn from my son is, when facing adversity, never give up, and just keep smiling because things will get better!

Thank you Kayla!

You can keep up with their journey by following @kayladine on Instagram!

Seeing the similarities over the differences is the heart’s greatest ability.

Check The Heart Ability out on Facebook

Check The Heart Ability out on Instagram

What Counts

This week’s story is brought to you by Aaron’s Aunt Red, also known as “Red”.

Please enjoy the story:

Sometimes I think the more the heart in my chest fights and pushes against my weaknesses or blah days, the closer I am to my spiritual “what counts”  self.  I said SOMETIMES.

But glimmers of “what counts” come from my nephew Aaron at ALL TIMES. I said ALL TIMES.I know this because I am an expert! An expert at being Aunt Red hanging out with Nephew Aaron! Aaron is a glimmer, a shine, a twinkle, a light. However you put it, he is  “what counts.”

Recently, he reminded me of this:

One night, while loading 2 days worth of dirty dishes into my worn out dishwasher that makes noise on the sanitize cycle, I thought about people who I lost touch with, and tried to reconnect with …and no reply for one reason or another. Life happens but I am very popular with myself —shouldn’t everyone answer?

I felt sorry for myself. It’s genetic. I’m Irish. I was taking in my 5-minute lament. I should have jumped into that noisy dishwasher for a mental wash— and sanitize on the ‘Quit feeling sorry for yourself’ cycle.

The next day at work, a call came in on my cell that I wanted to take but couldn’t. I listened to the message from Aaron ona break: “Siiiissssay! (Pause) Siiiiiisssay! IT’S AARON! Hi. Cheese fart. How’s your day? It’s cold here. (Pause). I love you. Bye.” The sting of disconnect was gone. And we have a joke as old as the ages (me) about cheese farts.

Aaron’s message was a glimmer of “what counts” from his voice of strength, love and determination. We caught up on FaceTime soon after. My nephew Aaron’s family tells me he checks in with everyone. I’m happy to be on his list! But the timing of when he checked in with me that day was too coincidental not to believe it went from my sappy selfie lament to his happy ears. Aaron’s mother, my sister (sssiiiissaay), says, “I don’t believe in winki dinks” – it’s more than a coincidence. Aaron’s message was more than a coincidence. It was meant to be.

I believe in  “what counts.” Aaron is ALWAYS  “what counts” in this world.  Wherever you’re at, he’ll find you and pull you up or out! Aaron knows how to connect and keep all connected. What a gift! His personality, instincts, love and humor are a joy to be around!

Aaron is a seer of “what counts!”

You’ll see this when you’re around him!

By: Aunt Red

Seeing the similarities over the differences is the heart’s greatest ability.

Check The Heart Ability out on Facebook

Check The Heart Ability out on Instagram

IMG_5193

The Slumber Party

This week’s story comes from Aaron’s youngest sibling, his sister, Mary Kate! These two have the most special tradition and I am thrilled that she was open to sharing about it here on The Heart Ability! ENJOY!

In many households the word kidnapped is frightening. In the Trofholz house it’s a word that brings excitement and joy. I’m not sure who came up with the phrase, “Aaron’s getting kidnapped” but it stuck. Whenever Aaron is coming to have a sleepover with one of his siblings we say that we’re going to kidnap him from Mom and Dads house.

Sleepovers are always fun, but for Aaron a sleepover is more than fun. Since Aaron doesn’t drive, I think the thought of him being able to leave home for a night is just beyond words for him.

I try to kidnap Aaron as much as I can. He always looks forward to coming to my apartment, as he counts down for the next kidnapping. Aaron and I pick a day then I drive up to my parents to take him. He always has his little grey “pack pack” packed and ready to go. His packing consists of 20 DVDs (although we only watch two- Ted and I,Tonya), cool patches, heating pad, and Coca Cola.

When I pull in to our driveway I see Aaron standing in the front window waiting to come out to my car. The moment he gets in my car he puts in either his Queen CD or Home Alone Soundtrack. We listen to the songs over and over during the drive back to the city. Sometimes the drive takes a hour and a half. So yes, that means we listen to Good Old Fashion Lover boy 5+ times!! We never seem to listen to the music at a normal volume. It’s always full blast and we sing our little hearts out and dance the whole way home.

Once Aaron is at my apartment he barges right through the door and makes himself at home. So much so that he calls my room “our room”. This brings so much joy to my heart because he feels so comfortable. Like clockwork, Aaron places all his DVDs on my coffee table and then plops down on the couch.

No matter how much fun we have, Aaron always asks, “When are you kidnapping me again?!” We always have to plan our next date before he leaves so he has something to look forward to.

When I drive Aaron back home I always get emotional saying goodbye to him. Although I’m only 25 miles away from him I ALWAYS miss him. These “kidnappings” really prove to me that it’s the little things in life. Allowing Aaron to “get away” from Mom and Dad for one night makes him feel empowered and independent.

– – Mary Kate Trofholz

Seeing the similarities over the differences is the heart’s greatest ability.

It is our mission at The Heart Ability to share the stories of those with disabilities and those who love them. If you or someone you know has a story to share, please email us at theheartability@gmail.com - we would be honored to spread the good word.

Check us out and follow along on Facebook

Check us out and follow along  Instagram

IMG_6526

Characteristics Found in the 21st Chromosome

HAPPY WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY!!!

March 21st 2018

In honor of World Down Syndrome Day, below are 21 of the top characteristics I believe make Aaron’s 21st chromosome so unique. Truthfully, everyday should be World Down Syndrome Day, but that is another day’s topic. Aaron rocks his extra chromosome with all of his might, he gives life his all and it gives it right back. I feel so very humbled for the opportunity to have the experience to learn from someone who embraced his extra chromosome and so willingly shared its beauty with the world. With that being said, Aaron, today the world recognizes you! Thank YOU for all that you do. What would your life look like if you were rocking an extra chromosome?

  1. Humor – the laughter that comes deep from the belly; the kind of laughter found from being silly and not at the expense of others.
  2. Unconditional Love – love that knows no limits without expectations.
  3. Hope – for a better tomorrow when today doesn’t go as planned.
  4. Limitless Kindness – an act of love that is available to all.
  5. Courage – the willingness to ask for help when he recognizes this life isn’t meant to be tackled alone
  6. Strength – in moments of perceived weakness is when his strength is ultimately found.
  7. Routine – recognizing what sets his soul on fire and structuring it into the day to day.
  8. Friendship – all inclusive, no hierarchies.
  9. Forgiveness – letting go of the things that no longer serve him, because he has far too much life to be living.
  10. Be Present – he shows up for those around him, he finds the joy of life in each moment.
  11. Trust – an unshakable sense of “it will all be okay”.
  12. Honesty – the good, the bad, the ugly.
  13. Faith – the willingness to live a life with minimal fear.
  14. Social – the power of connection and the willingness to reach his hand out to a stranger.
  15. Punctual – if we make plans for 5pm on Friday, you betcha those plans start at 5pm on Friday, and if not, he’s calling at 5:01pm.
  16. Inclusion – in a world where we constantly strive for Aaron’s inclusion he so seamlessly includes the world.
  17. Fun – letting loose and disregarding how he “thinks” he “should” look.
  18. Complementary– the importance of building each other up rather than tearing one another down.
  19. Memory – his brain has a file cabinet 100 miles deep that stores every single soul’s birthday.
  20. Active Listener – his ability to listen with the intention of allowing someone to feel heard without calculating a response.
  21. Family – whether it’s blood or chosen, family first. Always.

For more information please follow check out World Down Syndrome Day

If you or someone you know has a story they would like to share about an experience seeing the similarities over the differences please contact me at theheartability@gmail.com

Seeing the similarities over the differences is the heart’s greatest ability.

Check us out on Facebook

Check us out on Instagram

Your Humanness is Showing

This week’s story is from Joe Landfair, one of my dad’s buddies. From the moment Joe met Aaron, he treated him as the human being he is and with the utmost respect. He recognized Aaron’s humanness over any other label placed upon him. He placed Aaron’s humanness at the forefront of their relationship. Therefore, he is a rockstar in my eyes – we need more people like this!

I emailed Joe inquiring about his interest in sharing about seeing the similarities over the differences. Within 24 hours he responded with a heartfelt story that brought tears to my eyes. Tears of joy, because his memory embodies what we all can only hope for – our humanness recognized.

It is a great pleasure to introduce, Joe.

“I think the thing I would say I’ve seen from Aaron is how much he enjoys just being part of the group.  Whether we’re playing a game or just hanging out, I perceived a desire in Aaron to be around others, interact and feel loved.  I remember playing bocci ball in your front yard with Aaron and some people from work.  Aaron was doing really well, he has great hand eye coordination.  I could also see he was really competitive.  As he had success in the game, we cheered him on and congratulated him on his good play.  I sensed in him, a true satisfaction from this and a sense of pride.  He enjoyed being part of the group,  competing in the game and doing it well.

I think, we all as human beings, want to accomplish things and be recognized for that.  In that way, Aaron is no different from anyone.  We all want to feel included, to belong and have that sense of self-worth.  I felt Aaron really enjoyed those moments and it was great to see him smile.  He reminded me that regardless of the various gifts and abilities we each have, we are all human beings with common wants and needs.  From this, I think Aaron taught me to be a little more sensitive to those needs in others whether different or similar.  I’m grateful I’ve had the opportunity to know Aaron”.

Thank you Joe for your willingness to share such a beautiful memory. I certainly agree with you, Aaron has taught me the exact same thing. Thank you for so graciously reminding us of that. Thank you for reminding us when our humanness shows it’s just our desire to belong, to feel included.

If you or someone you know has a story they would like to share about an experience seeing the similarities over the differences please contact me at theheartability@gmail.com

Seeing the similarities over the differences is the heart’s greatest ability.

Check us out on Facebook

Check us out on Instagram